I’m going to put my neck out here and assume that most of our readers will have noticed that the giant orange Wotsit currently masquerading as the President of the United States recently published a 20-point peace plan for Gaza. Unsurprisingly, the alleged war criminal currently masquerading as the Prime Minister of Israel, and a chief architect of the carnage which has been unleashed in Gaza, has accepted the proposal in principle.

However, it should be pointed out that while the negotiations between the respected parties involved on all of the points included in the plan are ongoing, Israel has continued to bombard Gaza and kill Palestinians seemingly at will. For the innocent civilians on both sides of this conflict, it would appear that the so-called “peace plan” is, in fact, an ultimatum.

Trump has already stated that unless Hamas accepts all of the terms contained within the plan, and in particular the demand that the organisation plays no further part in control of the region, then, in his own words: “All hell, like no one has ever seen before, will break out against Hamas.” The history of the latest episode in this conflict would have that translated as all Israeli hostages will be killed, and the extermination of an entire population will continue while the rest of the world looks on in abject and helpless horror.

The peace plan includes that Gaza would be temporarily governed by a technocratic, apolitical Palestinian committee which will be known as the “Board of Peace”. This body will be chaired by an individual with unquestioned knowledge of the history of the conflict, a laser-like focus on the intricacies of Arab-Israeli relations across the centuries, and the diplomatic experience and sensitivity with which to bring all parties to the table in a spirit of empathy and cooperation. Except no it won’t.

The Board of Peace will instead be chaired by President Donald J. Trump who will be joined in his efforts by another alleged war criminal, former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair. Given Blair’s record of falling to his knees whenever he comes face-to-face with powerful Christian fundamentalists (remember his visit to sit on George W. Bush’s lap in the run-up to the war in Iraq), it is not surprising that many of those on the Palestinian side of the table are, if not suspicious, then understandably extremely wary of where the real power in the board will reside.

Another stand-out point in the plan is at point 10. This states that ‘a Trump economic development plan to rebuild and energise Gaza will be created by convening a panel of experts who have helped birth some of the thriving modern miracle cities in the Middle East’. No doubt this will include Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, who has benefitted from eye-watering donations to his investment firm from Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates.

And so, the repugnant vision that Trump laughingly showed to the world a few months ago of a Las Vegas-style beach resort with himself, Netanyahu and Elon Musk cavorting in the sand has become part of the so-called peace plan. Never mind that there are the mutilated bodies of innocent men, women and children still lying beneath the rubble, there’s money to be made, but let’s not be vulgar, let’s pretend that it’s all about peace.

Which brings me to the date at the top of the article. Trump has indicated that “Hamas must move fast” to accept the plan. In days to be precise. It is no coincidence that the Norwegian Nobel Peace Prize committee is due to announce the winner(s) on Friday 10 October. Trump has been moaning and stamping his feet for years now in an attempt to sway a peace prize his way. From his crazed delusion of the stopping of seven “unendable wars” single-handedly (not true), to the fact that his nemesis Barack Obama already has one on his mantelpiece, Trump will likely implode on Friday if his name isn’t announced. Hence his maniacal desire to have his peace plan published, negotiated, and signed-off by all parties to one of the most intractable and devastating conflicts in history in a matter of days.

If only the Nobel committee had another award within its gift which would be suitable and entirely appropriate.

How about the Nobel Piece of Shit prize?